Entry number 34

Tuesday, 30 of March of 2021. One year and one month of living in a pandemic. My mental state is deteriorating somehow. I have been isolated at home for more than a year. I barely go out, only to buy some groceries from time to time. No more social life. The only people I talk to is my family. It could have been worse. My mind was already ill before the pandemic. Perhaps it turned out for the best, since due to the pandemic I was practically forced to return to my family’s home.

There were some ups and downs though. Some days where the future looked a little bright, which gave me some high hopes. Others, were the future looked dark and the world only seemed to get worse. Who knows? Maybe the world always stood the same … maybe not. Perhaps some things get better, while others get worse.

I have been having a lot of time for introspection and to get to know myself a little better. Certain memories from childhood came to me, in a manner to remind me who I really am and what my essence is. This is perhaps what Jung called “individuation". And sometimes it hurts.